God is sooo good

God is so good...I could write a song. Oh wait, someone already beat me to it! Anyway, God is good and I am constantly reminded of this! After a couple of weeks of worrying/waiting/learning to rely on God, I was told I would have my position next year. I can't imagine leaving my school. It's home. Home to me, home to my son, heck, it's even home to my husband (he's been up here so much over the years to help me!).

We still wait in limbo on my husband's job, but God has always gotten us through, so he and I are relying on God and His timing...together. My husband is my rock. I get frustrated sometimes because he can't read my mind and bring my daughter's shoes when I'm dressing her or make the tea that just ran out, but he's the best husband in the world and I'm so glad God chose me to give him to. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, but usually, you wouldn't know it to talk to him. He picks up the pieces, puts them together and keeps forging on for our family.

I love you Jeromy!

The economy

The economy sucks! While that's not news to most, it suddenly, within a period of 3-4 weeks, hit my family like a pile of bricks. My husband is looking at losing his full-time job after working faithfully for the same company for 20-something years. We panicked, prayed and started working on putting our faith into practice. (This is when we found out exactly how much easier it is to teach our students and children to have faith than to actually live it out ourselves.) Finally, we started feeling a sense of peace and Jeromy began prayerfully searching for where God would have the next chapter of our lives lead us.

Then my bomb dropped. After 10 1/2 years at my job (I've been there the 2nd longest of all the faculty), I was told there is a 50/50 chance I'll have a position next year. I believe in my school, my son has gone there since he was one and I was so anxiously looking forward to having my daughter at our school the year after next. Now what? We were using our newly-rediscovered faith and now we're both looking at unemployment. Would we be able to muster MORE faith?

Believe it or not, my husband who loves to be in control and know what's coming next, has been a rock. I'm sure he's still worried, but he constantly reassures me that God's got a plan and that we just have to be strong, rely on God and figure out what's next.

Me? Not so strong. How about I cry anytime anyone brings it up or very innocently asks me if I'm okay. No I'm not okay, but I'm relying and praying everyday that I will be. The worse part? My son will have to leave the school he's attended since the "Creepers" class.

Pray. That's what I do anytime I stop to think about our current situation and start to get teary-eyed. Pray. That's what I'm doing constantly and that's what our friends and family have committed to do for us. God is God. I know...duh. He can work miracles. If our enrollment would pick up, quite a few of our teachers wouldn't be looking at unemployment. God can do it...IF it's in His will. If He doesn't, than that's not what He wanted and that's what I want - His desire.

If not CFCA, where God? I will follow You and go where ever you lead my family. Our heart's desire is to serve you.

P.S. I really do LOVE my school :)

In the Storm

I have always said it...there's even a song about it, but I guess I didn't expect God to really test me on it. I've been through storms before: I watched my husband suffer when his life-long best friend and his wife were killed in a car accident shortly after we were all married; I watched my mother-in-law suffer with cancer, the effects of chemo and a bone-marrow transplant and still die and the worst one of all - I watched my Dad suffer from a brain tumor and die. My Dad was my buddy - I could call him from my office anytime of the day and just chat. He was smart (super smart!) and funny. Losing Daddy totally rocked my world and though I didn't think I could live through something like that, I did - with God's help.

Last week, something far worse than my Dad dying and living in glory with Jesus happened. I saw how Satan attacked my son (my baby) and caused him to feel worthless. I saw the signs...attributed it to puberty and figured he would "just get over it." He's an 11-year-old boy who, like every other 11-year-old, cares what people think and say. I'm thirty-"something" and I still worry about what people think...imagine how much it dictates a young person and their feelings and emotions. Connor is the one who, since pre-school, has stood up for the under-dog. He was never picked on, but if someone else was being picked on, made fun of or just needed help, in would step my Connor. Even to the point of getting in trouble for talking when he was trying to explain a concept to a lost student in class!

I will say that, as usual, God uses all things. I have learned to look deeper into not only my son's eyes and heart, but into all of my students. Connor is slowly realizing he has way more friends than he ever thought imaginable and is learning to be strong and deal with, what I like to call poopheads, that feel the need to spread rumors. He has not once asked to run from anything, but instead opted to stand up and face the music.

I have always said, and even more now say that he is a true treasure. I know that we go through all kinds of situations as we grow up so that God can use us for His purposes later on. I just wish that I could shelter my kids - definitely not what God has planned. I just know the impact my Connor will have on the world will be far more imaginable than I ever thought possible!

For the last week, the words to Praise You in This Storm by Casting Crowns, have gone through my head about a thousand times. And then it dawned on me...the song was written for me for just this time. (Not really, but it feels like it):

I was sure by now God You would have reached down

And wiped our tears away,

Stepped in and saved the day.

But once again, I say amen

And it’s still raining

And as the thunder rolls

I barely hear your whisper through the rain,

I’m with you

And as your mercy falls

I raise my hand and praise

The God who gives and takes away.

And I’ll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

That you are who you are

No matter where I am

And every tear I’ve cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise you in this storm.

I remembered when I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry You raised me up again

My strength is almost gone how can I carry on

If I can’t find You?

And as the thunder rolls

I barely hear your whisper through the rain,

I’m with you

And as your mercy falls

I raise my hand and praise

The God who gives and takes away.

Mom loves you Connor...

VBS!

Okay, I'm used to filling in where ever needed by my husband. However, this past week, I did something I've NEVER done before...and actually liked it. You see, my husband, is a lot like me (good thing seeing how we're married!) and would rather do something/everything himself than to see it half-heartedly done by someone else. When the subject of Vacation Bible School came up MONTHS ago, some wanted to cancel it this year. Jeromy didn't - it is Connor's last year of it and Peyton's first year of it and he didn't want them to lose that valuable time. Therefore, he said the words he's been saying more and more lately, "I'll do it."

Translation, I'll head it up and my wife will be my gopher/secretary. I LOVE that role in church work - it was made for me!!!! (At my job, it's quite different, but that's a whole new blog!) So we embarked on coordinating and pulling off this year's Vacation Bible School, Outrigger Island. One of the big parts of VBS is the music. There's a theme song and a different song for each day to match their lessons. On top of the words, there are hand motions to be learned. Then once you've learned them, you have to demonstrate and teach them - daily! That was one of the jobs that my husband very lovingly delegated to me! I've NEVER gotten up on stage, taught singing and "dancing" to anyone - didn't think God would really want me in that position. Boy was I wrong.

I didn't want to be the only fool on the stage, so I recruited two other fools - Drew & Daniel Garner. Who in turn, recruited another - Taylor Hutson! Daniel worked the sound booth with Dan, the WONDERFUL sound guy and Drew, Taylor, Brittany (one of our Youth at church) and I danced for God. I was soooo nervous the first night, but went home with a huge smile on my face knowing I had done my absolute best for God and the kids had a great time. I always warn people to be careful - if you do a good job, it could become your's permanently. I forgot that lesson.....I was informed last night that I had forever earned the title of the Music leader for VBS. (To be honest...it's okay with me - I was more blessed than any of those kids!)

During VBS I was also reminded of what a wonderful family I have - especially my husband. He works a full-time job, a part-time job, goes to school full-time and still has time for us. Sure, we have our typical husband/wife spats (in which I'm right...and he just takes a little longer than necessary realizing it!), but he's the best husband in the world and I pray constantly that God will continue blessing him for all he's done.

I see the light...

For those that live in a hole, you might not know that the school year is QUICKLY wrapping up. For those that teach, we've been counting the days down since August!

I'm excited that God has blessed me with a job that allows me to spend summers with my children (and my husband when he can get time off) and still pay our bills! However, before I can begin that relaxing time, I must get through the end of the year. For me it means grading research papers, writing exams, exam review sheets and grading said exams, coordinating the MS awards program, coordinating and pulling off the MS History Fair, coordinating and pulling off in a dignified manor the National Honor/National Junior Honor Society induction and scheduling, pulling off and walking around in the heat at a local theme park for our last field trip. I'm down to my last MAJOR hurdle (the field trip) and then it's grading, grading, grading.

Anyway, the end of the year is a hectic time for me, but even more so for my precious family. They endure my stress, lack of home-cooked meals and laundry running behind to help me in any way, shape, form or fashion they can. They endure because they love me. I know this is true, because I sure wouldn't put up with me! Thank you family :)

Now, add to all the crap I've just put them through extra stress of finding out whether or not I'll have a job next year. My school has been blessed with a tremendous new Administration team for next year. They have come in and accepted a job for the not-so-faint at heart. Unfortunately, one of the first things they must do is to make our budget fit within our enrollment. We all knew that not everyone would have the opportunity to return next year, so for over a week, we were on pins and needles. On Friday I was blessed to find out that not only do I have a job next year, but I get to keep my title and my position. Even more important to me was the fact that they seem to appreciate me and what I do.

God is ALWAYS faithful and when we're in His will doing what He wants, He'll direct our steps and put us exactly where He wants us. Therefore, after all of this, I am seeing the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel and it's looking mighty bright!!!!

My babies

My babies are getting older. My son just turned 11 in March. In two SHORT years he'll be a teen-ager. I remember visiting him in the NICU at Arnold Palmer and holding my 3 pound, 7 ounce little baby. Now he's as tall as me and getting smarter everyday. Lately he and I have been butting heads, so to speak. I expect perfection (though I'd never tell him that) and he expects me to WAIT on him and allow him to move in his own time. Therefore, we both seem to have plenty to say and not much desire to listen to the other. Nonetheless, he's my oldest baby and I will love him forever - no matter what.

My youngest baby is getting ready to turn 2 next Month. I remember 3 years ago sadly working on facing the reality that we probably couldn't have more children. I remember praying MANY times a day for God to help me to realize that His plan was the only plan and for me to accept whatever He decided. It was about the time that I felt like I was truly getting better at this acceptance that we found out we had a "Peyton" on the way. It was just yesterday I was holding her in the hospital and thanking God that no one was going to wisk her away from me (like I had watched Connor being taken to the NICU). Now she toils around the house carrying purses, changing clothes every time she sees some and telling me what she wants to do. No matter how old they get, how tall they get or how smart they get, they'll always be my babies. Connor rolls his eyes every time I say this, but my sweet baby girl will say "Mommy" when I ask who's baby she is. (Of course, she says "Daddy" when he asks, but who's counting??)

God gave them to me and for that I will be eternally grateful and never able to fully thank Him. I pray that when I get to Heaven, God looks at my children and says "Good job." I also pray that when we all get to Heaven, Connor and Peyton see Nana Donlon and Papa Macey waiting at the gates for them.

Waiting for God...

I'm not a very good "waiter." I don't mean as in serving food (actually do that quite well for my fam!) I mean waiting on things. We live in a society where everything is instantaneous. If it's not, then, heck, we don't want it! If there's something any member of my family needs (or even wants most of the time) I do whatever is in my power (I pay the bills so I do have some minute power) to obtain said "thing." (Side note to my only reader: honey, I know about the r/c car request - you're birthday is still one month away!)

Along that line, I'm not particularly good at waiting on God. If I pray and don't see an instant answer, I decide that I must take things into my own incapable hands. I know, and I tell my students all the time that no answer means it's not His will, or the answer could possibly be forthcoming. But I don't think that applies to me! My mom always said to practice what you preach - easier said than done!

So, now I am going to make a conscience effort to wait. Wait and see what God has planned for my school, wait and see what BIG plans God has for my husband and wait and see what plans He's carrying out in our new church. I figure, it's the least and the most I could do....